I Don Wan No Po-Po At My Do-Do

This morning started out with a bang. I was still recovering from a work/flu hangover, this morning, so when Dave flipped on the lights to dig through the gigantic pile of laundry at the foot of the bed, I got all medieval on his ass.

After I ripped on him though, I gave him his 8th, "12 Days of Christmas" present. A McDonald's gift card for breakfast, and a non-pervy love poem. I say, "gave it to him", but it was more of a thrust in his face, while naming all the times that I pre-gather all my clothes, so that I don't have to turn the overhead light and ruin his morning......

I am one big ball of fun, when my sleep is tampered with.

The Boyz looked a titch nervous, as I approached them for their breakfast needs. I was extra tired last night so I went to bed with my mascara on, and woke up looking like a well-fed heroin addict. I managed breakfast though, and was able to tame Dawson's hair enough to pass for a school day. With my own hair a scraggly mess, I stepped into Dave's jamma bottoms and one of his hoodies to take Daws to the bus.

When I came home, Hannah had emerged from her room, looking far scarier than I could ever hope too. She has short hair though, making it easier to stick up at all angles, and she is my baby sister, so it is alright to make fun of her. She spent the night, in hopes of a ride to the airport today, but we'll see how it goes.

As the morning progressed, one of Dyl's friends came over, to play and wait for school with him. Hannah and I didn't make it past our first morning look, and were sprawled on the couch watching America's Funniest Home Videos, when the phone rang. The caller ID popped up on the t.v. as, Summit County, and I hollered, "Don't answer that, it's the library about overdue books." The answering machine clicked on, but the caller hung up. I thought that was weird, since it's usually a recorded message about my books being late, but went back to watching the stupid cat home videos. A few minutes later, the same number called, and I said, "Don't answer that, maybe they found crayon in a book, and want me to buy it."

Forty minutes later, there came a knock on my door. I scrambled to pull on a shirt and then had to sprint to catch up with Emma, who was already turning the handle on the door. Imagine my surprise, to find two cops, hands' on their holsters', on my front porch.

I have some serious cop-alogical problems, from my somewhat unsavory youth, that have managed to linger into my adulthood, no matter how law abiding I have become. To open the door, and see law enforcement, on my porch, immediately I am racking my brain, trying to recall any illegal acts I have recently committed, that would land me an arrest. When none come to mind, I at least give thanks that Hannah is here in case they take me, and we do have a little savings to put towards an attorney if the court will not appoint me one.

I was brought out of my vision, when one of the officers, inquired if we were all okay, and did we need any help.

*Blink*

*Blink*

Oh, yeah. Cops help people too. I always forget that part. I said, "Nope, we good."

That's when they asked to just come in and have a little look-see. I guess your credibility decreases when you answer the door, short of breath, a little sweaty, and with raccoon eyes. Satisfied with our safety, they informed me that they had received a 9-1-1 hang-up from our residence. When no one answered the phone, both times they tried to call back, they had to come check. Before I could think, I said, "Oh, yeah, sorry about that, I thought it was the library hounding us about overdue books." As soon as it was out of my mouth, it just hung in the air between us, and I got the nervous giggles. They just stared stonily at me while I harnessed all the power in my personal universe, to not completely go hysterical.

Before they left, they laid a smack-down on Dyl and his buddy, and collected my information. I suppressed the urge to offer, that I was already on file, and wished them a Merry Christmas instead. It's nice to know that in an emergency, they would be able to find us quickly, err.....at least after two attempts by phone, and surely within 45ish minutes....and only if they don't believe it is another hang up.

I hope that this is not an indication in Dyl's Hoodlum progression. Last week, the Principal's office. This week, the county sheriff. I am going to have to step up my parenting game.