Where's The Beef

Dinner time, at our house, is like standing at the brink of the sanity crevice. Some days, we teeter and fall of the edge, into the dark abyss, and the Hoodlums end up going to bed at 7:00. And we end up cranking the t.v. up, to drown out the wails off, "But Mom, it's still light outside."

Fewer days, it goes off without a hitch, and they get to stay up until 7:30.

I am sure our dinner woes, are not uncommon. We have, a Complainer, which falls to Dawson. The second he gets home from school, he inquires as to our dinner plans. I could tell him we are having Hot Fudge Sundaes, with gummy bears, and rainbows, and I would still get a, "Waa!" It is not that he is picky, none of them are, it is just a reflex for him. Often his complaint, is that he had the exact same meal for school lunch. I swear I don't look at the school lunch menu, in a moment of panic at 4:30 and decide to have, Stacked Ham, Tossed Salad, Peaches, Cookie, and Milk..........

I swear.

"Sticks" a.k.a Dylan, aptly nicknamed by my brother-in-law for his lankiness, is the kid that doesn't eat. He also is not picky, but just doesn't have the fortitude or desire to pick up a utensil. We can eat an entire meal, by the time he is on his second bite. He keeps us entertained, with recess and bus anecdotes, but still continues to weigh less than his little/bigger sister. Sometimes we are surprised, and he will finish his dinner in order to get some form of dessert. He can eat in normal mode, and even hyper-speed, if the Glycemic index is high enough on the dessert. He spends so much energy on negotiating how many more bites he has to eat, that we are all exhausted by the time he finishes.

Emma started out a great eater, but has since come under the ever potent spell of her own reflection. In a Mine! Mine! Mine! home like ours, where everyone stops just short of urinating on our staked territory, Emma has commandeered the seat at the bar, right next to the ovens. That is HER chair, for any given meal, coloring, or any activity at the bar. The downside is that she can't take her eyes off of herself. (Vanity, obviously a genetic hand-me-down from her Father, who also can't pass by a reflective surface without being entranced.) Last night, she primped and flirted with herself right through dinner. I thought she was completely oblivious to the rest of us, but as Dave and I were cleaning up, she was singing to herself, "Dannimals Crush Cups are so good, but fish tacos are not so good." I thought she had no idea what I had been giving her bites of, but I guess her beauty was a good enough distraction, that she could stomach the fish tacos.
There is only one meal, that makes dinner time go off without a hitch. Each of them have their favorite food, but all 3 Hoodlums love ribs. Every so often we have one meal, that makes Dawson tell me it was "Bone-apa-TEET!" Dylan will eat his weight in pork, and Emma can tear herself away from....herself, long enough to devour some poor animal's torso. Tonight was lovely.