February In Phoenix

I had a great time in Phoenix, for the last three days at a Trauma Symposium, but all the memories would make for a ridiculously long post so I will just hit on the highlights.

*An overbooked flight to Phoenix, and me being the only one of my buddies that didn't check in the night before. Who knew they could sell your seat out from under you? It turned out alright though, and while I was in the bathroom, Jenn posed as myself and demanded a ticket, which they gave her.

*Elation at being granted a ticket, then the elation turning to anxiety as we boarded the tiniest plane ever, for which I was assigned the back row. My claustrophobia is usually in check but by the time I had taken my seat, and come to an agreement with my morbidly obese seat mate,(her thigh and panis would rest on my lap halfway there, then I would get to be on top, the rest of the way.) I was a mess. I thought about excusing myself and offering to trade spots with Abbie's seat mate on the exit row, explaining to him that she was a puker; or maybe just pulling the Sexy Stew aside to inform her that I didn't believe Abbie would be able to perform the duties of someone sitting on the exit row, but the seat belt sign clicked on, and I had to help my matey with her extenders.

*Riding the shuttle to the rental car place, and being so engrossed in Jenn's tales of the night shift before, that I didn't really notice the other passengers in the shuttle, go pale and queasy until someone said, "Uh, where do you guys work?

*Walking out of the airport, into the sunshine, and never wearing a coat for three whole days!

*Bringing a GPS with me, but not being able to figure it out, and when Jenn called the hotel for directions, she told them we had a Blond and a GPS, but they were canceling each other out. In my defense, Nicki, couldn't even figure it out.

*Abbie talked me into going for a run with her early Monday morning, and I was game on three conditions: 1-If I got tired, she would need to give me a piggy back ride home. 2-If in the wee hours of the morn, if we were accosted by Phoenix's seedy underbelly, she would run and save herself, no matter how much I screamed. And Thirdly: If the sheer friction of my thighs against each other, were to ignite my sweatpants whilst running, she would stop, drop, and roll me. She agreed and we had a wonderful work-out without any of the above trouble, although I did get a faint wiff of smoke around mile 3, but we just slowed our pace and my thighs cooled down.

*For the week leading up to the conference, buzzing with the girls about all the wild things we were going to do, how we were never going to sleep, how to get our stories straight, should we be arrested.......That kind of thing. When in actuality, we left the conference two lectures early on Monday, and all took a three hour nap. At our wildest, we also hit the movies for a chick flick, did some shopping, and ate a lot of chips and salsa. It was way more lovely than being arrested.

Jenn and Nicki

Me and Abbie

*At any given time during the lectures, one or more of us, was fast asleep. There were several instances where I jolted awake, as someone stuck their pen in my nose. Also trying to discreetly take pictures of the drool dripping off our co-workers chins with our cell phones, while maintaining an air of professionalism.

*Text heckling the Lecturer's to each other, who for the most part were so dry it was all I could do to stay awake to think of great comebacks for their statements. The content was geared mostly towards surgeons, and so while they were dissecting vessel walls, I stayed alert by thinking, Your Mom's a (insert vascular abnormality here) after each condition. There was also a female doctor lecturing, and though I am a fan of Girl Power, she made me want to slit my own throat just to end it. When she asked for questions, they only thing I could think of was a reference to just how many cats she might own.

*All the free Diet Coke I could drink.

*Staying up into the wee morning hours, sharing secrets, and discussing important stuff like love, religion, politics, medicine, while being able to argue and express our own view points respectfully, AND........ still remain friends.

*Our neighbors at the hotel hating our guts, and banging on the wall during a wicked impression Jenn does.

*Walking around a high end shopping center and mocking the high end saleswomen following us around, since we obviously couldn't afford anything in the store. Who the crud, spends $400 on a 5x7 picture frame? I felt very Hooker on Rodeo Drive-ish for the first time, except I couldn't go back to Richard Gere, who would then take me on an elaborate spree. They have no idea that I am pretty much treated like a queen at the Gap Outlet, especially on 10% Tuesdays, so they can suck it.

*Sleeping with Nicki, and being glad to have a responsible adult with me at all times.

*Riding/Praying in the front seat, with my belt securely buckled while Jenn drove like a bat out of Hell, to get us to the airport on time, and trying to rid my memory of all the bloody slides taken from car accidents, flashed rapid fired during the last 2 days of the conference. Then sitting on the freeway for an hour, due to a car accident, and Jenn saying, "Someone had better be dead, for making us this late..." and the following silence as we passed the accident and saw the telltale sign of lumps under a sheet on the road. Awk-ward.

*A feeling of restitution, that the next time I call parking services to pay my tickets, I can rest assured that having the hospital pony up for this trip, is like getting two months of parking tickets paid. Suckas!

*Running through the airport, jostling other travelers, leaping over vagrants, and arriving just in time to board the flight home. I left Phoenix with a smidge more info, valuable to my career, but more importantly, rejuvenated by some Vitamin D, some great memories, and some greater friends. Cheese!