La Goon

Dave and I surprised the boys with a trip to Lagoon today. Yesterday, I told them that we would be doing something special, and they were funny about guessing. "Is it better than going to Grandpa Randy's?" "Is it better than Chuck E. Cheese?" Seriously, Chuck E. Cheese. I hate that place.

Anyway, they were very excited when we pulled up to the park, and the delirium didn't wear off until they passed out cold about 10:00 tonight. Dylan is only 44 inches, and you have to be 46" for most of the rides, and I'll be damned, but those teenyboppers working the rides, only look spaced out and chromosome challenged. They kicked us out of line every time. Dyl, was alright about it though, he rode a few good rides and then hung out in Kiddieland. Dylan got a little nervous about the rides after the Pirate Ship gave him butterflies, so I had to encourage him all through the line for Puff the Dragon. I held him, and talked to him forever in that stupid line, and when we got to the first of the line I folded myself into the tiny seat and turned around to help Dylan get in, and he was nowhere. I finally spotted him in the front car with another little boy. He was waving, and yelled back to me, that he wanted the front seat. The little turd totally desereted me, and then I was stuck, by myself riding the kiddie coaster. The snot nosed kid that ran the ride, came up to me and smirked, "please buckle your seatbelt ma'm." Like I could get out of that damn thing, without a bucket of crisco and few magic tricks. The worst was when Dave came back with our friends, and there I was, smashed into the kid roller coaster all by myself.

Dawson made the height cut-off by an inch, and every ride he got of was "frickin' awesome," and he wanted to go again. We had to keep shepherding him down the rides, because he thought it couldn't get any better. When we made it to the adult rides, he was hell bent on riding every last roller coaster, except Colossus. He didn't want to go upside down, so I made a bet with him. We pinky promised that he could ride it one time, and if he hated it, I would give him $5, but if he like it, he had to give me a hug. He and Dave headed of for the roller coaster, and Dave said that after they came out of the loops, Dawson yelled over to him, "I'm pissed!" Dave asked why, and Dawson said, "Because now I have give mom a hug, Wha Hooooo!"

New Bikes !!

Finally the day has arrived, and the prophecy has been fulfilled. If you earn them, they will come..... So, about 6 months ago, I started talking to my Daveskins about getting the boys new bikes. They had both outgrown their little bikes, and they seemed dangerously rickety. My idea was to pack everyone up in the car and head out right then to buy new bikes. Dave, however, wanted to make them earn the bikes.(He is soooo responsible, total turn on.) Anyhow, we ended up making them a chore chart with about 80 boxes. and over the last several months they were able to fill them in. Dawson was especially diligent about doing his chores, and was very helpful. Dyl, is more like me in the chore department, and will go to great lengths to avoid helping, i.e dish belly ache, sudden vision loss, and that type of thing. The last part of their bike deal was that they had to sell their other bikes at our moving sale over the 4th. Dawson struck a hard bargain with one of the cousins, when he told him that he had to have 20 bucks. He was a little disappointed when he came over and I had already sold it for $5. Dylan rummaged through my bro-in-law's garage and found a truck and trailer that he wanted, and ended up trading his bike to Kent for the treasure. About 5 minutes later, he came back to Kent and wanted to trade back, since the trailer hitch had broken off the truck, but a deal is a deal.

Today we headed down to Toys R Us, and each boy carefully examined the bikes and their amenities. Everyone came home pleased with their purchase, and with themselves for earning it. Emma didn't do jack for the last six months, but we still bought her a bike. Her dad is going to be in big trouble when she really gets around to batting those eyelashes.

Fourth of July

Today was a fun day. The boys' rode on Dylan's preschool float, and I couldn't tell if Dylan had fun because he looked pretty somber the whole time. He said that he had a good time, but both boys were mad that they had not figured out that if you are on a float, you are not collecting candy. Fortunately, Emma collected plenty for all of them. Unfortunately, she took one bite out of every piece.

After the parade we went to a bbq at my bro-in-law's house, and the kids' played long and hard. Emma went around begging Mountain Dew from anyone that would give her some. She is a junk addict like Dylan, and her mother.

Tonight we went to the rodeo. I dread the rodeo every year, but my family likes it, so I endure to the end. This year it wasn't to bad. They didn't drag it out like they usually do, and the clown wasn't long winded. I did still sob like a baby when the rodeo princesses came in with the flag, and again at the barrel races. There is just something about horses running fast, that makes me cry. I thought the night was going to get really interesting when two Oakley Rodeo Queens made their way in front of us, dragging huge fur and leather purses that I can only assume were made out of their last horse, and sat down in the extra seats we had. With their fat hair and enormous cowboy hats, none of the kids could see. Deann, my sis-in-law, gave them the what for. The one queeny turned around and gave her a fake painted on smile, and said sorry in the most obnoxious titmouse voice. Now this is the kind of altercation I love. I was giving her another 30 seconds to move before the rhinestones went flying, but Deann held her ground and they moved. I was very proud of her. The fireworks were spectacular, and I am very grateful for my freedom.

Talk Dirty To Me

Tonight we went to the Poison concert. I trashed up my make-up, and picked at my black manicure in preparation, but I still looked like a phony groupie. I just haven't lived the hard life that gives most of the true groupies their authentic look. We went for Pho' before the concert, and were bummed out, when we pulled up to our favorite Viet place and it was closed for construction. We found some, clear out in West Valley that did the job though. When we got to the concert, Dokken was just finishing up. We had to climb over 4 enormous, drunk women who kept threatening to flash everyone, which was funny. The lead singer of Dokken, had a strategically placed fan that blew his hair back, straight out of the 80's videos, but the bassist had the perfectly tight permed, loonnggg, head banging hair, and it was beautiful. Several times we got mesmerized by the cascading perm. The music was good at the concert, but did not compare to the people watching. In between Dokken and Poison, they just played various hair rock, and their were these two guys with blow up guitars in one hand, and beers in the other. They were playing guitar and singing up and down the aisles. It was hilarious, especially when the smaller of the two guys decided to straddle the handrail in his leather pants and try to play his blow up guitar while sliding down the handrail. I guess the handrail was not as slick as he thought, as his junk got caught and he took an endo down the stairs. He came up smiling though, and kept right on strumming. We had a great time chanting "Highway to Hell" with everyone, and I would have to say, after Every Rose Has It's Thorn, (written for a stripper that broke Bret Michaels heart) my favorite song was Talk Dirty to Me.