Gateway Fieldtrip

Dylan had a fun little field trip to the Gateway Children's Museum today. We have been there a couple of times before, but it is always a good time. He had a little mishap in the Lifeflight helicopter and came out of it, with a golf ball size knot on his head, but had a blast with all his friends. I am glad he wants me to be a chaperon on these trips, and I am happy to go.

Dylan is going to have this great, deep voice like Dave's. It makes me smile to hear him talk, (most of the time) because his voice is already pretty deep, and his words are very calculated and drawn out.

Today while we were sitting in the tiny, filthy, waiting room at the Jiffy Lube, this creepy guy came in and sat down right next to us. There were about 3 other people crammed into this space, and Mr. Creepy immediately starts talking to Dyl, and Emma, and showing them these farting noises with his hands. I can deal with creepy, and I can deal with irritating, but if combined you might stand a chance of getting knocked the freak out.

Anyway, I scooped the kiddies up and did a bathroom trip, which was probably far more dangerous than the dude on the couch. I hovered Emma over the filthy toilet, and told Dylan he would just have to hold it. After a quick glance at the bar of soap and the sink, I knew it would be fruitless to wash our hands, as I am pretty sure the soap was growing Swine Flu.

I nudged the door open right as Dyl announced to the waiting room, "That was funky soap. That is the kind you used to put in me and Dawson's mouth when we said, shit, damn, hell......" and I will spare you the rest.

We decided to go wait outside and wait in the freezing cold.

(On a side note, we stopped doing the soap in the mouth, when the boy's decided it wasn't that bad, and Dawson actually developed a taste for it. We then moved to Fisherman's Friend cough drops, which were easily accessible in the car, but then Dave thought that I should also get a FF when I slipped up...... I have kind of let it slide.)

All I Wanna Know Is.....

Dave left yesterday for a week in Allentown, PA on "bidnis." A week without my love is going to be super difficult, but yesterday, I made a list of all the things that I will be able to accomplish, without being distracted by my hunka hunka burnin' love. Not to say that he is a distraction, but I would rather be lounging on the couch with him at the end of the day, than being independently productive.

My list is quite long, including, but not limited to, watching General Conference on the DVR, (instead of arguing with Dave over who's turn it is to delete it, 3 months down the road to make room for all my smut t.v.), organizing and unpacking some boxes, getting my stupid work "portfolio" together for our annual evaluations, and lastly, but certainly not leastly, updating my itunes.

Dave left yesterday morning about 7:30, and I am proud to say that I accomplished several things. I made it to church. I made it to church, on time, Mormon Standard Time, that is.., and I lasted all three meetings. It was a good start to the day.

After church, I fed the kids, and put Emma down for a nap. The weather was freaking delish, so the boys and I headed outside to soak up some Vitamin D. I spied various trampoline paraphernalia lying about the yard, and decided I didn't need Dave's enormous muscles and manly know-how to put the thing together. The boys and I hauled all the parts to the middle of the field, and in 3 hours, had it all put together. One great thing about not having any close neighbors, is that I can swear up a blue streak on a Sunday afternoon, without so much as a "tsk tsk" from anyone older than six.

Emma woke up from her nap and she wrestled with the boys for a couple of hours on the tramp. She is a little brute, and I had to keep putting her in time out for being to rough on the boys.

Tonight they fell into bed, and didn't even give me the nightly protest about it still being light outside. I felt giddy with the prospect of a full night to myself, and wandered around the house for an hour doing a few miscellaneous tasks, and then plopped down on my bed. When we moved in, we got a promotion for HBO, and I DVR'd several movies. I flipped through about four chick flicks, and watched the first 10 minutes of each before deleting them. It was getting dark, so I popped a couple of Benadryl, in case I had trouble sleeping and went upstairs to watch some t.v.

I got a sweet karaoke machine for Christmas, which has been completely neglected since arriving and the other day, Dave unpacked it and set it up so that my performance shows up on the t.v.... I mean really, who wouldn't want to see 56'' of me destroying Alice In Chains?

It started out a little sheepish, I eeked out some Dido, and then got a little braver with my Heart cd. By about 9:30 I was rocking out. I pulled the front of my t-shirt up and inside out to make a sexy bandeau top, and because I was working up a damn sweat. By 10:30, I was getting little hoarse, but still going strong. At Midnight, I had choreographed and perfected, a kick-ass routine to Sexy Can I. Then, despite being damp with perspiration and sporting a wicked smoker voice, I put on a performance to rival Britney,(pre-psychotic break.)

Everything was going well until I decided to improvise my routine. I don't know if it was the Benadryl kicking in, but I should have known that, socks, a hardwood floor, and a 30 year old woman attempting the splits for the first time in a decade is not a good equation. I was never good in physics, but I should know that a gal like me, who holds onto her baby weight, like a bear getting ready for a long freezing winter, is not going to have much control when those socks get sliding.

My pelvis hit the floor so hard I thought I might continue right through into the garage. I rolled over, clutching my legs to my chest and writhed around like some poor sucker recovering from a punch to his junk.

Eventually I dragged myself into Dylan's bottom bunk and stayed there for the rest of the night. Tonight, I think I will probably just watch Conference, put a bag of frozen peas on my groin, and hope my injury isn't permanent.

Croup

For 8 months out of the year, if we happen to catch a cold bug at our house, it turns into croup for Dylan and Emma. I don't think Dawson has ever had it, but the other two get it religiously. Yesterday, Emma woke up and I could hear the start of her Darth Vader breathing. It got worse throughout the day, so when Dave and I went to bed, I went upstairs to bring her into our bed for the night. I have never been a fan of kids in my bed, so the only time they get to sleep with me, is if I feel like they might need CPR or rescue breathing in the night.

Emma didn't have a fever when we went to bed at 10:00, but at midnight she was blazing hot, and absolutely delirious. I never thought that I would be able to go to sleep with her breathing as hard and as loud as she was, but at midnight I woke up to her telling me she had to go potty. I swear, she completely regressed with her potty training, after we moved into this house, but then chose to get back on the potty horse, in the midst of a 104 degree fever, in the middle of the night? I don't get it.

After getting up to use the bathroom, I got a little nervous. She was really working hard to breath and for the next couple of hours I thought, if she was still breathing this badly in the next 10 minutes, we are headed to the hospital. I gave her some Ibuprofen and waited. She got so delirious that she was talking non-stop. She kept saying, "Buy me a puppy. Buy me a puppy. Buy me a puppy." over and over again, and "I love YOU, the most." I finally had to concede, but I definitely love her the most, and we are definitely not getting a puppy.

We don't have any window coverings on yet, which is not that uncomfortable down here in the country, but when Emma started waving out the window behind me, I got a little freaked out. I asked her, who she was waving to, and she kept saying, "Hi, Elmo." I must have been a little delirious at this point because I didn't even dare turn around and look. Who knows, he may have been hovering right there in the window. I think Elmo is a little creepy on Sesame Street, so I most definitely don't want to see him staring in my window at 2 am.

Finally about 3:45 she passed out cold. Her breathing got better and she broke her fever. We both slept really well the rest of the night.

Tonight, I found the steroids that I got for her last bout of croup, but didn't end up using. I crushed them up and mixed them in some whipped cream and she sucked them down. Usually croup is the worst on the 3rd night so I am going to cross my fingers this works tonight.

The Obligatory Easter Outfit Post

Our Easter morning was a little hurried so that I could return my mom and little brother Will, and Isa to the airport. The kids hunted for eggs and found a good stash of candy and trinkets. They ignored their Easter outfits, and went straight for the candy. The good thing about knowing the Easter bunny is that you can tell him to only bring the kind of candy that you like, pretty much any combination of peanut butter and chocolate. The bad thing about knowing the Easter Bunny is when you go 1 for 3 on flip flop sizes. Dawson's were the only ones that were even close to his size. Oh, well, I am glad the Rabbit gave us the receipts.





I felt a little bad letting the kids eat a bunch of chocolate for breakfast, and then leaving them with Dave so I could make the 2 hour trip to the airport. All was well when I returned, until I tried to get a picture of us all cleaned up for church. I'm blaming it on the sugar.







After a wonderful Sunday nap. We broke out the kites, that the Easter Bunny left. It was a picture perfect moment with the kites floating in the warm breeze and soft children's laughter, and then the boys had to put their spin on it. Each boy would take turns holding onto the kite's string, and trying to dive bomb the kite into the
other boy or Emma. Then they would try to bomb the kite with rocks. I had to stop Dave from going to get his paintball gun and adding to the fun. I didn't know kites could be so fun and dangerous, but I should have known.

Coloring Eggs, A Wonderful Tradition

Dave and I went on a last minute overnighter yesterday and it was lovely.I crave alone time with Dave. He is the funniest person I have ever been around and it did me good to have a day just to spend with him. He makes me feel whole, and beautiful, and loved. He is a good dude.

My mom is in town, so yesterday morning I Pricelined us a sweet deal on a last minute hotel. Priceline is my new favorite hobby. It is kind of like crack, or a baked good, in the way that it is so fun and exciting while the little boxes go across the screen and William Shatner keeps you entertained with little teasers of all the wonderful hotels who are fighting over your ridiculous offer. The only problem is when your actual reservation pops up, and you end up staying at the Extended Stay America in Midvale for $35. It's then you realize you have come to the end of your dime bag, or the scale has just jumped 5 pounds. Thankfully, I married an adventurous man who can make me laugh, even when the front desk guy hands over the room keys and a little pamphlet filled with safety tips for staying at the hotel. The pamphlet itself was not alarming, just the #6 safety tip...If you see a tiny red light in any fan or vent, please report it to the front desk immediately. I didn't see any red lights, but the whole time I showered I was wondering if a million pervs were enjoying it on YouTube.


Our time was over far to quickly, and today we headed home with Easter Basket stuff, and an egg dye kit. My mom and Gram were there to help us, which is good since I am not much of a read-the-instructions kinda girl. My preparations for coloring eggs consisted of dropping the tablets in the kid's many Don Pedro's cups,(the only matching glasses we own) and filling them to the brim with water. I handed the eggs and the dye all around and started punching out the circles on the back of the box. As I was intently removing the circles, Dawson brought my attention to Emma's purple face and the fact that she had drained her cup o' dye. The uber calm nurse in me took over and I started screaming, "Oh, shit, you aren't supposed the drink that!" I frantically looked to the back of the box to find the instructions on Ingestion, but I had promptly punched out all the damn circles. So while I freaked out, trying to match the circles to the holes, Dave came in and asked whether the dye was in vinegar, or lemon juice. Why would I put the dye in vinegar or lemon juice??? Because, APPARENTLY, that's what the instructions say. While all this was going on, Emma finished off her pink dye cup as well. Yay! It isn't poisonous, but I will need to remember to tell her daycare that the wild colored poop is just how we celebrate Easter.

The last few weeks have been a blur. I'll give you the shortened and condensed version.
We moved, Yay!
My sister was in a bad car accident, Boo!
She's okay, Yay!(Still neurotic though...xoHannah)
I think I might be coming down with some Seasonal Affective Disorder, Waa!
Things are going to start to clear up though, I can tell. Yay!

This morning I was able to get my butt out of bed and work-out. I skipped a week and could totally feel it in my psyche. I don't love working out, but I love the girls that do it with me, and I love flexing in the mirror. If I pull my extra skin tight, I see some serious guns.

When I got home, Dawson was already to talk me into letting him go to school today. I was all for it since he has progressed past the Exorcist-like, projectile vomiting stage, and into the super whiny and pestery stage. I interpret this to mean, he is not 100%, but probably not contagious either..... That's probably what the mother of the kid who got him sick, thought too. Oh, well.

Since it was 'Shopping with Grandma Day', I told Dawson I would just take him to school, so that I could continue on to Heber. Instantly he starts in on how I never get him to school on time and how he won't get 100% attendance. The kid is a nut about school, and I personally don't get it. It must be a Broadbent thing. Dylan on the other hand has pretended to be sick for the last couple of days, so as not to go to school, which I totally understand. I feel peaceful knowing that the same drive to do well in school for Dawson, will hopefully compel him to take care of me when I am old.

Dawson was completely ready for school, including coat on and zipped, and backpack at the proper ergonomic position, about 45 minutes before we had to leave. He sat right outside the shower and gave me time updates at 1 minute increments. I should have put him on the bus. At some point during the morning we switched roles and I felt like the slacker kid I used to be.

The drive to school felt like an eternity.
"Mom, the speed limit is 55."

"Thanks Daws."

"You're going 60."

"Well, you are straining your seat belt, trying to monitor my speed, and if we get in an accident, you don't want a strained seat belt."

"We wouldn't get in an accident if you didn't speed all the time. Do all cops have lights on there cars, because I think there is one behind us."

Dylan chimes in, "I hope you get caught by the cops mom, that would be sweet."

"I hope the Chevron is out of Ring Pops, that would be even sweeter, and that isn't a cop behind us, I can smell a cop from a mile away." (Just like Kid Rock)

Finally after 8 miles of this, we reach my sanctuary, the Chevron. Dylan and Emma usually get Ring Pops when I get my liquid courage, but Dawson is usually at school, so I asked him if he would like a treat for after school. He said, "No, I would just like to get to school on time please." Whatever.

We did make it to school on time to every one's surprise, even after getting caught up in a heated debate over American Idol, with the gas station regulars. Dawson jumped out of the truck, happy as a clam and ran off. He got about half-way there and turned around to flash me the I Love You sign. I rolled down the window and hollered it back to him. I got an eye roll and a, "Jeez, Mom." for my lack of discretion, but I couldn't help it. I love each of my kids more than anything, and appreciate their unique, individual, personalities, and I don't care who hears it.

We continued on to Heber and did my Gram's hair before heading out on our errands. We gossiped and she updated me on all the people who I don't know, that have died. Long ago I learned to not admit to, not knowing who she was talking about. She would persistently try to convince me that I knew this person who died at 90 years old. I would say I don't, and then she would throw in land marks from 50 years ago that I would not know, like, "You know she was so-and-so's step daughter, they lived up by the old meat packing plant on 5th west and yadda yadda..." Now I just say, "Oh, that's too bad."

On the way to "Wal-Mart" which is actually Walgreens she grills me with the coupons. She has me repeat the brands, ounces and limit on each coupon until she is satisfied that I won't screw up the savings. I meticulously followed her list, including a half-hearted attempt to use a coupon that expired in 2007, but by the time I got around to my own shopping, I had become completely unmotivated. Despite a list a mile long, I arrived home with a four-pack of Cadbury Eggs, The Office Trivia Game and a vat of generic KY Jelly. My family doesn't have anything to eat for the week, but at least I covered the essentials.

We watched The Great Outdoors tonight with the chitlins. I remembered very little of the movie other than it being a John Candy, slap-stick comedy. It was a little more colorful than I remembered, especially since my little boys instantly remember anything colorful. They especially were pumped when they found out that hot dogs were made of, "Lips and assholes." They looked at Dave and I with huge little eyes and asked if they had heard right. I told them that hot dogs were made out of lips and OWL Holes. You know, the holes in Owls. That seemed to suffice, except for Emma continuously repeating, OOWWLL Hole, OOWWLL Hole..... Dave and I probably need to screen our childhood favorites better in the future.