At Least They Are Wearing Helmets....

ER Co-Pay, $75.

Yards and yards of driveway concrete, poured in a slight decline, $12,000.

The Boyz trying everything head-first, yet remembering to put on helmets, Priceless.





I worked this weekend, so I missed out on a lot of fun, and a life changing revelation. While I was chatting with Daveskins, on my break yesterday, he casually mentioned that there was a good chance he and the Fam would be down to see me. Since they usually don't drop in for a visit at the E.R., I figured the Boyz had not lost their enthusiasm for our newly poured driveway, and their insistence for all things wheeled and dangerous. I was right. The Boyz are totally obsessed with anything they can ride. I had to intervene at my Gram's house the other day when they found my Grandpa's rickety old wheelchair and were surfing down her handicapped ramp on it. I also stepped in when they had Em loaded into the back of the Tonka truck, ready to shove her down the driveway. She was really T.O'd at me, apparently I had missed her first two trips down the hill which were painfully fun. I asked Dave to at least get some pictures in order to corroborate our story, and account for the 'multiple bruises in various stages of healing'.

Dave then went on to thrill me with a re-count of their morning at church. We had a special Stake-Conference yesterday, so I asked him if there were any important proclamations I had missed. According to Daveskins, although he couldn't recall the exact wording, the only big ticket announcement came, about us womenfolk needing to "give it up" 4 or 5 times per day, and something about meeting our husbands at the door, in the buff, with their slippers and some fresh homemade bread. Whew! I guess if it doesn't involve arsenic Kool-Aid, I'm game. Unfortunately, he then took it into the 'now I know you're lying' realm, when he said that a lady at church, also gave him kudos, on his incredibly reverent children. There's really only so much bull I can take.

This morning after the usual bus scramble, I decided that it was time to register my little commuter car. My tags are only 5 months expired, but Dave has been bugging me, and it has been awhile since I have had any encounters with the PoPo, so I am probably due. I had already geared myself up for a morning at the DMV, when I noticed the damn thing needed a safety inspection. My windshield has a ginormous crack spanning the entire glass, so I knew it would never pass. I called Dave to complain about my hard life, and he suggested wearing a low cut shirt, and taking it up to our local full-service station. That plan might have worked three children ago, but it would take a deeeeeeep v-neck to see any cleavage these days.

I dressed as provocatively as I dared with Dyl and Emma in tow. A cotton t-shirt and some knee-length shorts, which may not sound sexy, but I had only worn them 1 day in a row and they still smelled okay so, sexy...yes. When I got to the station, I draped myself in the doorway and drummed up my sexiest Norwegian porn star voice and asked, "Do you have time for a safety inspection?" It came across deeper than I had planned, and sounded a little Tranny, but 25 minutes later, I had the golden ticket, and was on my way.

We aborted our plan for the DMV since I had used all my morning energy and sexpot-ness, and headed to the park. Dyl was pumped after mastering the curvy monkey bars and the fireman pole, and we sent him off to school right on time, and happy.

The rest of my day was a wicked success, including a nap, homemade dinner of baby reds flavored with home grown rosemary (Dawson nursed my dead herbs back to life), Family Home Evening/aka Wii Bowling with an opening prayer and song, kids in bed at 7:45, and me getting to spend the rest of the evening chit chatting with my love, in my sexiest Norwegian-porn-star-tranny voice.

Dawson walking off a butt injury

Good News, Bad News

The good news is, that I made 3 out of 3 buses in the last 2 days. This morning, after we left Dawson at the corner, Dylan looked up at me, and said, "You did great, Mom, that's two in a row." then he stuck his little fist into the air, so we could do "knuckles." I reminded him, that he had also made the bus on time yesterday, so technically, I had made 3 buses in a row. I wasn't about to let him short change me on my triumphs. He apologized and then said, "Go Linsey, it's your birthday. Go Linsey, it's your birthday." He totally gets me.


There's bad news though, I think I may not be as hip and with it, as I thought. Yesterday, my Mom, who was visiting, walked up the street with us to the bus stop. Dawson walked about 5 feet ahead of the rest of us, and when we reached the corner, he said, "'K, bye, love you." I told him we would walk the rest of the way up the street with him, and he politely, but firmly declined. I laughed about it with my Mom, but secretly blamed her, you know, the "Grandma at the bus stop" thing, *eyeroll*. Anyway this morning, as we walked up the road, I saw Daws start to pick up the pace as we reached the corner, and sure enough, he spun around and gave me the shrug off. I got the same, "K, bye, love you!" I responded with an equally polite, yet firm, "Uh, Hay-ell no." He reassured me, that he just wanted to walk by himself like the big kids, but Dave said, he thinks Dawson might be getting some flack on the bus about his crazy mother that honks the horn and chases the bus in her husband's pajamas. As I sat there watching him skip up the street I couldn't decide which is worse, being lame, or my little boy growing up. At least, I am certain that I will always be cooler than Dave.

I think Emma is adjusting pretty well. I've noticed that she is compensating her loneliness for her brothers, with accessories, but with the amount of hand-me-downs we get, it is cheap, and non self-destructive at this point. She always has a purse on her shoulder, but recently my Mom gave her an enormous black Hobo bag. Thanks again Mom,*eyeroll*. Right before I got in line to check-out at the store the other day, I noticed the bulge of the purse was bigger than ever. I figured I had better take inventory and make sure that I didn't have a little shop lifter on my hands. I may have overreacted a tad, since she really only had the bare necessities, like her two stuffed moose, a stuffed cat, a plastic dinosaur, our cordless phone from home, Dave's tape measure, 5 packages of fruit snacks, a half eaten (and browning) apple, chapsticks, fingernail polish, a fork, her usual purse, a dollar, and the blood-stained tooth that Dawson knocked out the other day. At least she hadn't lifted anything at the store, but I am still trying to figure out how she got the tooth back from the Fairy.

She has been pretty insistent on wearing her ballerina outfit everyday. The only time we get away with regular clothes is when her get-up is in the washer. If it was only the leotard and tutu, I could deal, but her ensemble is not complete until she is wearing multiple tutus, her sunglasses, Dylan's Spiderman hat, her butterfly wings, high heeled wedges, and of course, the purse. It really is a look that few people can carry off, but she has the attitude, and struts around saying, "Boom boom pow, chickens jackin' my style" and it works for now.

Kindergarten Baby, Stick Your Head In Gravy.........

Emma is really going to miss her bro's.

Dylan's first day of Kindergarten! I think we may be in a downward spiral, or maybe it's Ground Hog Day and no one told me. We were awake and eating breakfast in plenty of time to make the bus this morning, and had planned to walk, since it was such nice weather. Somewhere, between the day dream of myself, and the three Chitlins, strolling peacefully up to the bus stop, and me, deciding 3 minutes was the perfect amount of time to experiment with cutting bangs, we missed the bus. Again.

Although, I figured the bus was long gone, it was no less of an ordeal to get out of the door. Dawson spent 15 minutes yelling at me, from the bathroom, about how I made him eat too many eggs, and finally made it out to the car, shoeless, and with a yogurt-crusted eyebrow. Dave had gotten all territorial on me, with his p.j. bottoms, so I compensated by swiping a twin sheet from the laundry basket, and wrapped it toga-style around my undies. It would have been fine, seeing as though I only have a few neighbors, and the drive is two short blocks to the bus stop. I don't know why I didn't remember the guys in my front yard, pouring cement for the drive-way, but at least my bangs looked good.

We raced up the street and stalked the bus until I was certain, Daws could sprint to the door without the bus pulling away. For good measure, I leaned on the horn for the last half block, so the driver would know we were coming. Good morning everyone! Slowly, I am starting to realize, that I might be, THAT, neighbor.

With another successful school send-off, I prepped Dyl and Emma for a Wal-Mart trip. I only needed a baby gift and I had approximately 2 hours to have Dyl back in time to catch his bus. We did it! Shizz, dang, heck, if I didn't up my bus percentage to a 50% success rate, and it was totally worth it, to watch Dylie board his first bus for Kindergarten.

This afternoon, I ventured up the street to retrieve my little scholars, and waited anxiously for report on Dyl's first day of school. That boy does not do anything fast. He mosey'd off the bus and slowly made his way across the street to where I was bouncing up and down. Finally, I had to say, "Soooooo?" He blinked his ridiculously long eye lashes and drawled, "Well.......They gave me a ginger snap for snack time." Al-righty then. I managed to get a few more details from him on the way home, and was able to deduce, that he did, indeed, have a fun day. I am really going to miss him.

Tonight, Dawson ended his prayers with a plea for help in making it to the bus on time tomorrow. I am all for Divine Intervention at this point, especially if I happen to start tweezing my brows at 8:12 or get lost in the crossword, on the back of the Fruity Pebbles. At least I will have someone else to share the blame.

firs day off skool

Dawson started first grade yesterday, and was so excited. My Dad called to wish him well before school, and I heard Daws say, "You bet, Grannpa Ranny, I'll use the Broadbent Brains and the Daybell Charm!" Let's hope not. The "Daybell Charm" has made it difficult for any of my past teachers to believe I have become anything other than an inmate. We made it to the bus stop with plenty of time to spare, and there were I Love You's and kisses all around.

In the afternoon, Dyl and I walked up to the bus stop to meet him, and he practically floated off the bus. "Mom, you will never believe what they fed us for lunch! Home.....Made.......BREAD!"

Do you know how many times a first grader can exaggerate the words, 'home-made bread', during a quarter-mile walk? Approximately 200 times. I pretty much lost count after that, and was thrust deep into a "I'm-a-terrible-homemaker"pity party with each exclamation, even though I knew it wasn't personal. He really had a wonderful school lunch and let me know I wouldn't ever have to make him a sack lunch. Bad news. I guess I will just have to sleep an extra 15 minutes in the morning.

I am glad Daws likes school so much. He regaled us with tales of primary colors, and recess, and thoroughly enjoyed doing his math homework. I missed him while he was at school, and I am already missing the freedom of summer and no schedules. I guess it is for my own good though, since they are going to have to get good jobs, in order to support me and Daveskins in our old age.

This morning was a little different. In a better indication of how our school year will go, Dawson and I tore out of the front door, 3 minutes late, him without a sweatshirt or shoes, and myself, clad only in Dave's p.j. bottoms, and bra-less in an old t-shirt, quite a site. We stepped gingerly through the mud to where I am currently parking in the front yard, (soooo Kamas), and then flipped crap all over my front windows as I peeled out. We chased the bus for two stops, each time, Dawson flying out of the back seat and then running his little heart out, just to have the bus pull away, right as he neared the door. The first time it was funny, and he and I were both laughing. The next time, I swear the bus driver saw him, and just took off anyway which really got me T.O'd. He walked back to the car completely dejected saying, "It's only the second day of school and I am going to be late." I ended up driving him all the way to school, and he was a little early, and a lot happy, so I guess it was a success in the end. There were plenty of I Love You's and kisses, and a strong resolve to be better at time management, at least in the morning.

Toof er The Money....

Daveskins and I decided to wear the kids out tonight by playing some b-ball on our new court. We don't have grass yet...........or a yard, but Dave, I mean, OUR FAMILY, has a sweet basketball court. I am not being a smart ass, Hon, just documenting for future purposes.

Anyway, we let them stay up a little later than usual, so by the time we weren't having as much fun,(Code For: everyone bawling) I headed in the house to hose down and pajamatize Emma, and Dave stayed outside to help the Boys pick up the balls. About the time the sliding glass door had closed behind me, I heard a particularly loud howling, coming from Daws. I figured Dylan had bounced his ball off Dawson's head or something along that line, and ignored it, thinking that Dave would take care of it. I heard Dave through the garage, telling him, "your fine, quit bawling and get picked up." (Excessive sympathy, in our house is usually reserved for true accidents, and active bleeding injuries only.)

Two minutes later, Dave and the boys, came bursting through the back door in a blur of blood and teeth and tears. Dawson had actually bounced the basketball off his own face and knocked out his upper tooth. We gave him a drink of water and when it didn't hurt his tooth hole, (technical term) I deemed him, fine. Dave and I made the appropriate jokes about not dribbling the basketball with his teeth, and Daws made out with 2 bucks from the Tooth Fairy the next morning.

Today we went to Grandpa Powell's funeral. The kids were really pretty well behaved. They had a few questions when we walked through the line and saw him in his casket, but they seemed to be fine about it. I know Dave was glad that we stopped and saw Grandma and Grandpa Powell a few weeks ago, when we were in Salt Lake, since it was the last time he saw Keith.

The funeral was nice, most of the kids talked about riding horses and hunting with their dad. It sounded like he was kind of crazy in the routes he would take the horses on and the scary incidences they had on them. David was a pallbearer, so we went to the cemetary as well.

After the funeral we went to Chili's with Dave's sisters and their families, and Fred and Carol too. We had a great lunch and the kids got to sit with the cousins and that made them pretty happy.

Dave talked us into a Cabela's trip after lunch and we spent a couple of hours walking around, and taking in all the stuffed animals. I especially love the aquarium, and so do the kids. We spent the rest of the evening at Sugarhouse Park. The kids played on the park stuff for quite awhile. Dylan mastered the monkey bars for the first time and while we were watching him, he started saying, "Go Dylan, it's your birthday!" It was so cute.

Dawson was trying his hand at running and jumping, trying to grab onto the monkey bars. He kept falling short and Dave gave him a lesson on jumping off one foot while still running. It was hilarious to watch.

Speaking of hilarious, if Dylan notices people laughing at something, but he doesn't necessarily think it is funny, he will say hiLAR-i-ous, in his funny little drawl. And then it really is hilarious.
What awesome kids we have.

Back to Reality

Nothing makes me relish being a mother, more than extended time in the car with the Hoodlums. We got home from Powell about 6:30 Sunday night and they went right to bed. By bed, I mean they were physically in their beds. The boys, hollered back and forth to each other for hours, despite us taking away all of their privileges and worldly possessions. Who knows what time they actually went to sleep, but we gave up and turned the t.v. on full blast about 9 to drown out their nonsense.

I didn't sleep worth a crap, due to my sunburn and only fell asleep about 3 hours before I had to get up to go to work. This made me oh-so-pleasant at work and definitely put me in the running for 'Sweetest Nurse of the Year' with the new Ortho resident, after ripping him a new one. Eventually, I ended up back at home with little recollection of how I made it there, and only scowled at Dave when he wondered if I would like him to set the alarm, for my work-out. I haven't worked out for a couple of weeks due to Powell and being lazy, but I figure if Shauna corners me about my whereabouts, I will just tell her I reached my goal weight, and try to blame my bulkiness on pre-menstrual bloating.

I had a total work hangover this morning, but lately,the kids have been really good about letting me sleep in for an extra hour in the morning. (They are total anti-work-out enablers. My bulk is completely their fault.) Unfortunately, my Gram is not as easy. I got her wake-up call this morning about 7:30 and she announced that it was double coupons at Smith's............Oh goody.

As I stumbled around the kitchen getting breakfast, Dawson announced, "Just as I suspected, the plants are dead. I told you they were going to die. You have to water them, Mom. You are not a very good Budget Buddy." On a whim a couple of weeks ago, I purchased $100 bucks worth of herbs, pots, and Miracle Grow, to make a little garden. They did not survive our trip, and being the morning person that I am, I told Dawson, "You know what buddy? I know CPR, and I could save a REAL person IF, I wanted to, so those little plants can suck eggs. I am glad they are dead."

By 9:30 we were on our way to Heber. We picked up Gram, and her suitcase of coupons, and had just about as wonderful a time, as you can have, double couponing with three kids. The Hoodlums were relatively good in the store, and helped me take care of all of Gram's groceries, so we drove through Subway and hit the park for a couple of hours. The Boys went nuts climbing the trees and scaling the slides, and I pushed Em til my arm went numb.

When I was certain that they didn't have the energy for one more slide, I rounded them up to go back to Smith's. Before we left the house, I rummaged around the junk counter and found some coupons of my own. I herded the kids back through Smith's, mostly picking up novelty ice cream bars and Kleenex, and then walked past a display of herb plants where I paused for just a minute before Dawson said, "C'mon Mom, let someone have those, that won't kill it." If only I could have his little voice of reason with me all the time.

We broke into a box of Drumsticks for the ride home, since they would most likely melt anyway, and talked about our exciting day. The Boys were especially pumped when I told them about the laundry folding party we were having when we got home. I was especially pumped about showing my super thrifty Baby Daddy, my double coupon receipt, and knowing he would be totally hot for me when he saw my savings.

The summer vacations are over and we are officially back to reality. It is really not too bad.

Lake Powell:Take 2

The drive to Lake Powell is nearly as excruciating as my sunburned butt creases, when I forget to lather up the 'screen. It is amazing where the sun, does shine, when you aren't expecting it too. Before the chitlins came along, it was always me asking how much further, but now they have assumed the questions, and so we can be annoyed at them together, instead of at each other.

With hundreds of trips along the same route, we spend part of the time pointing out interesting Broadbent Family landmarks, like "Remember when Dylie spewed all over his car seat, right around this corner?" or "Remember when we threatened to leave the Boyz at that abandoned 'Buffalo Jerky' Hut?"

Some of the landmarks, we haven't shared with the kids yet, like the tiny little Tire Store about 60 miles outside of Price. When Dave and I were just dating, I made him stop there for a potty break, and when I burst into the station, clutching my crotch, and bouncing up and down, the old S.O.B told me I couldn't use his bathroom. I only argued for a moment before I spotted the big propane tank out in the sage brush. I bounced out and popped a squat behind the tank, but only for a minute, because out came the ornery S.O.B, waving a big stick and screaming, "Ain't nobody gonna piss in my yard!" I took off for the truck, where Dave and his friend, Brandon, sat shell shocked. I barely made it since I hadn't taken the time to pull up my shorts, and I was laughing so hard. It all turned out alright though, Dave married me in the end, despite my character flaws. He still shakes his head when we pass the little store, even though it has been out of business for a long time.

We didn't get into Bullfrog until 9:45 and had to launch the boat in the dark. It was a little scary, but we managed. While we were getting unloaded, Dawson hollered for me to take a look at a spider he had found. It was sitting on the back seats of the houseboat, and it was the most massive spider I have ever seen. It was probably the same size as a tarantula, but not as thick. I took my flip flop off to smash it and couldn't bring myself to actually hit it. I tried about 5 times, but each time I chickened out, thinking I didn't want spider brain matter anywhere on me. Dave finally came around and I got the courage to smack it. The spider imploded and I scooped it up and flipped it out into the lake. Nasty.

The next morning we went out and scouted around for a great spot. We found it, out around Hall's Bay, and decided that Dave and I could maneuver the houseboat out by ourselves. It is typically a 3 man job, but we did not want to lose the sweet beach that we found and there wasn't any wind, so we decided to go for it. Long story short, the wind came up and we had a scary, exhausting trip. We made it though and enjoyed one of the best spots in a long time.

Dave practicing his "Pole Moves" while trying to set up the umbrella. He should do some moonlighting because Shortie got game.
The Boys love to fish off the top of the houseboat for cat fish.

I don't know how they continue to have energy to dance long into the night.
And of course, the games.....

The Boys learned some valuable gambling skills, playing poker for Swedish fish with Uncle Kent.

... and Baby Ring Toss

More catfish

Dawson and Dylan both had some firsts this trip. Dawson decided he wanted to try wake boarding and did awesome. He is so fearless it is scary.

Dylan took to the knee board by himself and got so comfortable he was doing tricks, like 'Look Ma, no hands!' He did really well, until he tried to bail off the knee board and it rolled on him and trapped him under the water. Dave and I were both off the back of the boat and to him in about 30 seconds, but I was worried that he would be nervous around the water. He brushed it right off, and was tubing and swimming in no time.

Boys, Boys, Boys.

The kids most favorite thing about Powell is the slide.

It was a great trip and totally worth the 10 hours round trip car time.